Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Inner Conflict

Well so much for Wednesday's being my standard writing day.
It's been awhile.  It's called life, distractions, lack of balance at times, work, family, friends, school, schedules, sports, etc., all of the above - which causes my thoughts to be jumbled and in turn this post will probably be jumbled as well.

I found, thanks to BFF, a fabulous natural sleeping pill, that was working wonders - every night - take two - an hour later boom - asleep, sleep such a wonderful necessary thing to rejuvenate ourselves.  

But now my mind is working on triple time - and the pills aren't working so hot any more.  

So now the trick must be - to truly put my mind to sleep.  Sure there is a lot going on, but I need to train my brain of mine to shut up - and let me sleep.  :-)

So driving today I was thinking what I need to do - and first thing that popped up was distractions - I need to weed out my unnecessary distractions.

First on this list came my phone - do I really need this phone?  Everywhere I go?  I surely not the President of the United States, I don't need to be reached every second of every day.  And surely I do not need to be watching an episode of Burn Notice on my phone late at night, cuz I can't sleep.  Probably not helping my mind turn off - I mean it starts thinking how it can help burned CIA agent Michael Weston on how to save the world.  LOL

I have tagged blogs like the Happy Family Movement, Organizing Made Fun, Money Saving Mom, Hands Free Revolution and Momastery to name just a few - which have wonderful insights that pop up on my FB newsfeed, but I know what to do, this isn't my first parenting rodeo and we are about to celebrate 24 years of marriage, so maybe I got this, maybe I need to put the phone down - stop pinning (I mean I would have to live about three lifetimes to actually DO the 2664 pins I have pinned!!!)

Then when I think yep - that's what you got to do - cold turkey - put the sucker away - then the other thoughts start to creep in - 
what about the cool running program I have on my phone that logs all my miles?  And tells me what days to run and how much.
What about the group texts sent out to various parent groups I am involved in? What about the pic messages with positive messages I send my kids every day (they probably voting I throw away the phone!)  What about the calendar and the lists that are on my phone?  And oh my gosh - the camera - I use that camera on my phone EVERY day, what about that?  And the GPS, everyone knows I am direction-ally challenged, that GPS has saved me from being lost on many, many occasions.  And the O'Reilly Factor that I watch on my phone?  And keeping current with long distant family members?

Oh the turmoil.

One thing is for sure - something has to give.
I surely don't need this phone.  It is nice.  There are some very cool helpful apps that make life "easier" - but I think my answer is if I don't have the self-discipline to turn it off - or leave it home - then it is going in the trash.

That is the trick, we must "own" the things of this world - not the other way around.

Thankfully I haven't become like some of the parents I see daily - out at the park with the kids, but not really engage with their kids - cuz they are on their phone.

In trying to do it all - I think we are missing the here and now.  And the here and now is what is important.

So don't be surprised when it takes longer to answer a text, or you don't "see" me much on FB.

I need to turn off some distractions and "plug" into some right thinking and positive thoughts of my own - through doing what I used to do a lot of - and that was read my Bible.

And I need to call people.  I know we have a generation of texters and even my parents and my husband's parents are getting into the "texting game" - probably just to stay in the know - and be able to relate to their grandkids. 

Texting is great and serves a wonderful purpose, but sometimes with the more ways we have to communicate - we actually communicate less.

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